Diary 1995-2002

November 10, 1997

Last night we just watched videos. I must be getting sick. My nose runs like crazy and my throat hurts real bad. I <3 jewelry. I want a nice piece but no $. Maybe I’ll get a $50-$75 piece for myself for x-mas. I kinda want a boyfriend, Tim. I wonder is all them rumors are true. Probably. He (?) will come when the time is right. I hope my time comes soon. I’m tired of games. 

November 8, 1997

It’s weird how when you look in the mirror you have two sides to how you feel about yourself. One side is just fine with how you look but another one wants you to look better & better. Even if I was considered the most pretty girl I think that I would still be unsatisfied. I guess that’s where make-up comes in. Someday I’ll have $ and have someone show me how to do make-up great. But never plastic surgery. I kinda think that I am pretty. I wish I had a better complexion and better eyebrows. 

November 7, 1997

On my desk it says “Tim + _____”. It’s weird because they (whoever that is) spelled my name right! It’s a mystery. My guess-Gary. Christmas is just around the corner. Gary said that Time is going to dump who he’s going with now to go out with me. Ya right! Joe’s nice. Mary Higgens Clark is great. I need more books. 

November 6, 1997

Today was ok. Homework is a BITCH to do. Sally is _____. I don’t know how I feel. Tim is pretty damn cute but so some others. I miss my father. Tomorrow is to be a lucky day. Hope so. I want to cut my hair in layers. :)

November 4, 1997

It’s weird in subtle ways, I keep noticing Tim. On my way to P.E. he told me something so I told him to be quiet. Then he asked me what soccer team I was on. I’m really starting to like him. Sally is being a bitch. It’s like she uses me but it’s really the other way around. I’ll get popular. I always do. In my pics I look….weird, no, different. Gotta go. 

November 3, 1997

***went to visit my Dad***

My weekend was okay. I guess Scott had a gun and had Joe hold it and he shot himself in the leg. Change. Sarah’s still a bitch. On my train ride home I met a cute guy. Today at school I did things as usual. Did good in P.E. I kinda like Mike. Pizza party on Wednesday. I wanted to go out with Tim but oh well. Maybe later in the year. 

October 31, 1997

Today was ok. At the dance Tim kept lookin at me. Gary told me Tim wanted to dance with me but then Tim said he never said that. Sally kept ignoring me. Mandy and I had an ok time. I found out that Sally likes Tim. I would feel bad if I went out with him. I kinda like Mike. I don’t want to walk around with my brother and Melissa. I wish they’d let me go with my nephew. I don’t know why not. Well write if it’s important when we get back from Tick or Treatin’

October 30, 1997

I started my period last night. Cramps. It’s weird, even though I don’t like Tim, I want him to like me. We in PE. we (me & him) were on the same team. He kept looking at me and then said something to me but I don’t remember. Tomorrow’s Halloween. 

October 25, 1997

I feel guilty for stuff. I’m mean to Melissa and my brother. They could have a lot more money if it weren’t for me. I’m such as waste of time. Now, Melissa’s father want me to call my dad and mom and ask them for money. I feel very shitty. I’m starting to cry. Why I don’t know. Sometime I can’t help it. Am I selfish? I don’t think Melissa’s dad wants me to live here. I shouldn’t even go on the east coast trip. I hate myself for this. 

October 24, 1997

Yesterday, I felt like I was missing someone/thing. My mother, I miss how she would hold me, rub my head when I was sick or sad. Enough of that. Me and Brittany are pretty cool with each other. I’m making friends with some of the popular people. They seem pretty cool. We went for field trip today. BORING. Disappointment. I waited in line forever and almost got it but was pulled away. Tyler is cute. 

October 20, 1997

Today was great. First, on my way to Math, Tim was in because he was late. He said Hi. I know everyone said all that stuff about him but I’m curious. Then I almost passed that test in Math. In PE I got invited to go to Washington DC. $1500 and it will pay for everything. We even get to go to Bush Gardens! More details later. 

October 19, 1997

Well I guess I keep forgetting. Friday was homecoming for the high school. On Saturday, we had a big dinner (very good). Carved my pumpkin today. When I was outside I saw Shawn outside. I wonder why he hasn’t been out lately. Hmmm. Well god damn I like him. Gotta go!

October 15, 1997

Lucy’s not going out with Tim. Gary says Tim likes me too. I’m in a group with Julio in Science. He’s going out with Ashley again. On the bus that guy named Nick (he was going home with someone else) sat behind me. My hair was pulled back, he started grabbing my hair saying that I have really pretty hair. He stopped when Ashley and Julio got on. When I got off, I looked up to see him staring at me. He kinda weird. Missy’s so cute. She’s going home tomorrow.

October 14, 1997

Today, I kept thinking that Tim liked me but in the gym in PE Steve asked Lucy if she’d go out with Tim. Oh well. We went and got Missy. She’s lab with Chow mix. I went across the street and asked him his name. Shawn. I introduced myself. He’s taller then me but still cute. I got an A+ and a B- in Core. 

October 13, 1997

Today I woke up late. When I walked into Science, Julio said “____, you’re here!”. Later on my way to lunch I saw him and Ashley hugging. Then he said something and I pushed him. On my way to PE Tim nudged my arm. I turned to see what it was and he just smiled. In PE he kept looking at me.